#Blogtour #Guestpost: The Future Can't Wait by Angelena Boden @AngelenaBoden @urbanepub @annebonnybook
Release date - 2nd November 2017
Book length - 320 pages
Publisher - urbanepublications.com
Amazon UK - www.amazon.co.uk
Amazon US - www.amazon.com
I want to thank Abby from annebonnybookreviews.com for the opportunity to be a part of this blog tour, and the author Angelena Boden for her fascinating guest post on identity.
ABOUT THE BOOK
"the heart and emotion of the story sing through the pages" – Kerensa Jennings, bestselling author of Seas of Snow
"A mother's story of longing and loss in today's world, beautifully rendered and never more relevant" - Andrew Smith, bestselling author of The Speech
The Future Can't Wait is the emotive and compelling second novel from Angelena Boden, author of the gripping The Cruelty of Lambs.
Kendra Blackmore is trying to be a good mother and a good wife, as well as pursuing her pressurised teaching career. Then Kendra's half-Iranian daughter Ariana (Rani) undergoes an identity crisis which results in her running away from home and cutting off all contact with her family.
Sick with worry and desperate to understand why her home-loving daughter would do this, Kendra becomes increasingly desperate for answers - and to find any way possible to discover the truth and bring her estranged daughter home...
The Future Can't Wait is a gripping story of a mother's love, and the lengths we would all go to in order to know our children are safe.
Angelena Boden (M.Soc.Sc PGDE) has spent thirty five years as an international training consultant, specialising in interpersonal skills and conflict resolution. She trained in Transactional Analysis, the psychology of communication and behaviour, her preferred tool for counselling and coaching.
Since retiring from training, she runs a coaching practice in Malvern for people who are going through transition periods in their life; divorce, empty nesting, redundancy or coping with difficult situations at work, home and within the wider family.
Angelena has two half Iranian daughters and has extensive experience of helping mixed nationality couples navigate problems in their marriages.
She is the author of The Cruelty of Lambs, a novel about psychological domestic abuse. Her new book, The Future Can’t Wait tackles the breakdown of a mother and daughter relationship within a cross cultural context. It is published by Urbane Publications and is out in November 2017.
For more information:
READ ON FOR AN INTRIGUING GUESTPOST FROM ANGELENA BODEN ABOUT IDENTITY ...
WHO AM I? - Seeking Identity in a Confusing World
One of the themes in The Future Can’t Wait is that of the transition from adolescence into early adulthood. Two young people, Rani and Jo, experience an internal struggle as they try to find their place in the world. This theme is highlighted a little more in the girls’ school where Kendra teaches psychology.
Having raised and supported two daughters through their teens and twenties, I wanted to show how many young people today find themselves lost in the maelstrom of psychological and emotional development and more importantly how, as parents, we might be failing to support them. My parents’ generation of stoics would have said… ‘Get on with it like we had to.’ Counselling was for the feeble minded.
There are many times in life when we all ask ourselves the mammoth question, Who Am I? Two periods on our journey are pivotal; the early twenties as we step tentatively onto the moving platform that is adulthood and the well documented mid-life point around forty. I’m not going to call these times of crisis as I see them a shift in gear in personal growth and development. That being said, in my counselling business I come across many people who feel they are being tossed around like a dinghy in a force 9 gale and are convinced they are having some sort of breakdown.
Parents talk in loud whispers about the terrible teens. Emotional turbulence, acting out and bad decision making being the key hallmarks of this period. However, it is the passage through the early twenties that throws up deep-seated fears as we are left on our own to carve out a path to success. Even the definition of success is elusive. Doors begin to close. Not much chance of being an athlete if you’ve been out on the razz every night. See where I’m going with this?
School provides a structure and in turn some security. It is hoped that home does something similar but there is an urgency in the twenty- something to break out of the patterns laid down by others even if it means smashing down the walls which trap them in a set of values they don’t buy into or damaging relationships. It’s a fight for freedom and independence. Parents can do nothing but look on and wring their hands in despair.
This is a time of life when we figure out who we really are, determined not to be clones of our same sex parent or a mouthpiece for their politics. It’s forty years since I came of age ( 21) and I remember it being a time of adventure and optimism. Ok, so I had no university debt to worry about, career opportunities were plentiful and following a set course of house buying, marriage, children was available to those who wanted it.
About a third of young adults today suffer from anxiety, depression, insecurities and loneliness which can forewarn of a crisis – a quarter life crisis as identified by psychologist, Dr. Oliver Robinson. Their launch into an independent life is being delayed by unstable economic factors and unspoken fears so should we be surprised when they drop out of university, announce they are going to save elephants in Thailand and generally turn their backs on a society they feel is failing them? Then… we have the audacity to pin the label of “snowflake” on to their lapels.
An identity crisis can be triggered by mixed messages over their roles in society, employment, sexuality, religion and what is expected of them as contributing adults. To escape these pressures, a young adult might take on a whole new persona. I’ve known of people who have given up clubbing and converted to Buddhism. Others have dropped all pretence of being “good and obedient” and gone off to join a commune. It means cutting the ties that bind and finding the essence of who you really are. Anyone with a poor sense of identity and weak boundaries are ripe fodder for cults or some counter-culture.
In the sixties I strongly identified as a hippy. In the seventies I played with the idea of converting to Islam. Only now in my early sixties (another of the famous life passages) have I found my authentic self. If there is a destination in mind, that’s it. “To thine own self be true,” says Polonius in Hamlet.
Research from neuroscience shows that brains are still rewiring to the frontal lobe up the age of 25 at least which might account for some of the confusion and emotional lability in this age group. Maybe we shouldn’t be too hard on them. Let’s stop putting our young people in the boxes of our own making. Stop the subliminal messaging …. We are all doctors/teachers/clowns in this family. That includes you.
We need to talk to the young adults in our families about how they are feeling and not solely about what they are doing, should be doing or not doing. Start listening. Really listening. To what’s not being voiced as well.
If we are to help them create a strong sense of self, then we need to support and not judge, to understand and not lecture and above all to keep the doors of communication wide open at all times. Love survives in all weathers. Let them know that.
*Thanks again to Angelena and Abby for everything, and don't forget to check out all of the other stops along the way!!
Hi fellow bookworms. My name is Linda and I'm a reviewer & blogger from Ireland. Oh and also a wife and mother!
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